Wednesday, September 28, 2005

On Growing and Getting Old

I have then realized that there is actually one soul who always makes time to read my blogs -- i have then realized that there is this someone, without me knowing, continuously updating herself about me, and what i have been thinking and doing.

Days ago, I have posted a blog entitled, "Hibernation, anyone?" All about fear of getting and growing old. And that single soul who has read my blog sent me an email answering all these fears i am getting with the thought of growing old.

***
this is FOR YOU.

"not all..."

not all old people stop loving....some of us thrive constantly and would bargain the best deals of our life for "love's sake"
most of us become innately sensitive at the smallest whimper or cry.....even just the breeze and appreciates simplicity at it's purest form.
old people..........i think stare at rainbows...longer than you do....now,
and YES
they do stop and linger among sunsets patiently waiting and feels glorified when the sun rise;

and NO
not all old people become busy.......some
"makes time"
you, of all, should know .

never fear growing old.....never fear knowing.....never miss a day done;
GOOD or BAD.

the minute your heart knows how to recognize feelings
it "stays there"......for i believe only the form changes with time.....

i am old , and i keep learning from a young soul like you....
the thing is ......while you rebel at the "difference".....
i find "harmony"
with the CONTRAST.

my dearest young friend.....

do you know that i still visit your blog and read your thoughts without telling ..... how else would i know ? maybe love , and sensitivity, and making time has something to do with that....
or just maybe.....i'm more, "in " your life than you are with mine.

how does it feel to get old ? .......it feels nothing.......just the usual day by day......passing.
and , oh yes.......as for me, i tend to say "thank you and i love you"....more often now... than before........... thanks for being a good part of my getting old.

from an old friend.........."literally."

***

And tears started to trickle down my cheeks. I've realized, that maybe there is nothing to worry about with people getting old.

Getting old means...
Loving more and more people.
More conversations with friends.
More rainbows to stare at.
More sunrises and sunsets to patiently wait for.
More time to say thank you's and i love you's.

More experiences to spend with one of my special friends (especially the one who sent this to me).

I am 22 now. So what?
I am not scared anymore.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Hibernation, anyone?

Is there any single soul who wants to join me for hibernation?

Why is it that yearly, I would always feel this way whenever it's already the twentieth of september? feels like i am almost becoming a monster again. or maybe into the process of morphing.

scary. i dont want to grow old!

i still can't cross the streets.
i still dont know directions.
i still cant be alone.

arrrgggghhh!
i dont want to grow old.

old people stop loving.
old people overlook at the smallest yet nicer things in life.
old people cant appreciate rainbows anymore.
old people cant appreciate sunsets and sunrises as well.
old people become so busy they lose time for loved ones.

every year, i dread the day of growing old.

i dont want to tire myself of loving.
of smelling flowers at the courtyard.
of staring at the wonders of colorful rainbows and beautiful sunsets.
of spending quality time with loved ones.


and maybe i'll just start learning crossing the streets and knowing directions.
In that aspect, maybe I should grow old on that.

But with everything,
I am sure, I'll still be keeping the child in me.


Tomorrow, I'll be hibernating.
So that the next time i come back, it's the 22nd.
and i missed the day of morphing and becoming more like of a monster.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Edit + Undo

Sana ang buhay parang Adobe Photoshop at Adobe Illustrator. Sa sobrang pagtatrabaho ko at pakikihalubilo araw araw kay adobe photoshop at adobe illustrator, pakiramdam ko ang buhay pwede rin gamitan ng command na EDIT + UNDO. kahit paulit ulit kang magkamali, ayus lang. maaari mong balikan ang pagkakamali mo at itama ito ayon sa nararapat.

Bigla kong napagtanto, ang buhay pala hindi ganun. wala pa lang EDIT + UNDO na command. kung ano na ang nangyari, tama man o mali, hindi na pwedeng baguhin. wala nang ibang magagawa kundi ang magsimula ulit at tanggapin ang mga pangyayaring kaakibat ng desisyong nagawa man ng tama o nagawa ng mali.

paano mo nga naman malalaman na ang isang bagay ay tama pala kung hindi mo naranasan ang mali? ganun talaga eh, paano mo masasabing maginhawa ka pala kung hindi mo naranasan ang kahirapan? at paano mo masasabing masaya ka pala kung hindi mo naranasan ang kalungkutan?

at lahat yun, sa loob ng maikling panahon, napagtanto ko ang kaibahan ng bawat isa.

kaya ngayon, alam ko na ang pagkakaiba. hindi ko man magamit ang EDIT + UNDO, eh di FILE + NEW na lang. di pa naman siguro huli ang lahat.

*
hindi man ako nakapaghanda ng anumang mamahaling regalo, marahil ang pagkilala kong muli sa sarili ko ay isang magandang handog para sa kanya. matagal tagal na din palang pinaiiral ko ang puso ko.

limang taon na.
at sana'y limang taon pa ulit.
at limang taon pa paglipas nun.