I never liked idle time. Whenever I am into one, I feel like I don't have purpose anymore, and I might as well die. So, I make sure I am doing something -- read a good book, browse through tutorials on how to properly sew a dress, or in this case, draw.
I have never held a pencil and a drawing book for the longest time. Whenever I do, I end up doodling and never finish an artwork. But yeah, my artworks are never finished. Even in my college years, whenever I see my finished paintings, I still dab a few strokes of my paintbrush. They are never finished even when everybody knows they are. It's always a work in progress.
Today, I bravely flipped a new page of my drawing book and started to draw myself. As far as I can remember, I've never tried drawing a self portrait. There's a kind of fear in me whenever I attempt to draw myself. But today, I wanted to conquer that fear. I drew myself.
During the whole drawing process, I learned to know myself more. Maybe it's true that whenever artists draw their self portraits, they are having a different kind of connection with themselves and they become more aware of their inner selves. I was able to succumb into that kind of feeling. I enjoyed every moment of it.
When you want to go into a journey, travel inside you. There are a multitude of things waiting to be explored and realized. It will surely be a memorable one.
I may have more of this kind of pilgrimage in the coming days. It feels good to know myself again.
24 May 2012