On Dying

"Have you ever felt that feeling that you might be dying anytime soon?"
He asked.

I said yes, so many times.

I always have that feeling of maybe-I'm-about-to-die-soon most especially on moments I am at my happiest, or at my content state -- on moments when suddenly, out of so many hurdles and challenges that's been coming my way, suddenly comes a plateau.

I've had a realization, that in a way, figuratively, is true. There is really a part of us that dies, because there is a part of us that is into birthing.

When a part of us dies, a part of us is born.
Then arrives better version of us.

We're not Lucky, We're Blessed

We're not lucky, we're blessed.

That's what he said when I kept recalling all the events that have been happening to both of us recently.

Last weekend, I had to sleep in the living room, lying down on a foam that doesn't seem to give comfort at all. It was Argentina - Germany championship, and all I had was an old 24" television, when I could have watched on my 42" 3D LED television my boyfriend has given me.

As I turned off the living room lights, waiting for the championship game in that little box, I smiled. I smiled a genuine smile, that even my heart could not contain. I truly immersed myself with this present feeling, because I know, one day, I shall look back at this moment, when I am already lying down at the comfort of my Tempur king size bed (even if I am unsure if that day will come), and tell myself, that I have been so much blessed to experience such kind of life. I may be immensely grateful.

Sometimes, the Universe has to give us lessons in the most unconventional manner. Sacrifices seem to be more bearable when we know that there will surely be something better that will come out of all these.

Life, after all, has been so good to me. I am not just lucky. I am blessed.

Life Lessons: Not Meant to Be

A colleague told me the story of how she lost her new China-made phone. It was not literally lost, but it's not working anymore.

She went rushing to the toilet to pass urine and her phone was inside her pocket. When she stood up and about to flush, she heard a sound of something that dropped into the bowl. It was her phone. It was her China-made phone. It fell off because her pocket was was too shallow for the big phone.

To her surprise, she picked it up, trying to save it, wishing it could be saved. It's been a week and the phone is inside a rice container, as some friend told her that it might help to get back to its good working condition. She is, until now, hoping.

Same goes with life, I guess. We all rush into hasty decisions, without even knowing the repercussions. We try to fit in some things that doesn't have any space in our lives. We try to fit into other people's lives who doesn't seem to be welcoming at all. Not even meant to be.

And yet, at the end of it all, we hope. We hope that that one day will come -- that day when everything we hoped for will finally fall into place.