Sa Bawat...

Sa bawat di pagsara ng mga pintong binubuksan

Sa bawat di pagtakip ng shampoo at toothpaste na ginagamit

Sa bawat paalala na hugasang mabuti ang pinagkainan

Sa bawat singhal sa maling kilos sa kusina

Sa bawat puting damit na naging makulay matapos labahan

Sa bawat hikbi na tanging gabi lang ang may kamalayan

Sa bawat dabog na pilit inaalam

Sa bawat yakap na umaasang aayos ang lahat

Sa bawat mali na pilit itinatama

Sa bawat pangarap na walang kapagurang inaasam

Sa bawat kilos

Sa bawat galaw

Sa bawat araw

Sa bawat gabi

Sa bawat mali

Sa bawat tama

Sa bawat kahapon

Sa bawat ngayon

Sa bawat bukas

Mahal kita.

At yun ang totoo.

Pag-ibig, Masdan ang Ginawa Mo?

Ilang araw na akong tumutulong sa flower shop. Taun-taon, ganito ang ginagawa ko tuwing papalapit na ang araw ng mga puso.

Nagtitiklop ng message cards. Isinisilid sa envelope. Naglalakip ng delivery orders. Isinusulat ang bawat mahalagang tagubilin ng nagpadala -- kulay, bilang, at ayos ng mga bulaklak. Sa pagitan ng mga ito ang kilig at emosyon sa pagbabasa ng bawat salitang pilit isinasalin ang nilalaman ng damdamin.

Masaya akong ginagawa ang mga bagay na ito -- alang-alang sa pag-ibig. Sa prosesong ito, marami akong muling nalalaman at natutuklasan. Sa gitna ng pagka-abala, sigalot, at di pagkakaunawaan, marami pa din pala ang himihinto, at nagbubuhos ng atensyon para sa pag-ibig.

Iba-iba ang paraan ng bawat tao upang ipahiwatig ang kanilang pagmamahal. May ibang gumagastos ng malaking halaga para sa mamahaling bulaklak. May iba naman, na sa pagitan ng layo sa kanilang minamahal, pilit pinupunan ng pagpapadala ng mga bulaklak ang kanilang pisikal na pagkukulang. May iba naman, na hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin napapagod sa pagitan ng ilang taong pagdiriwang ng araw ng mga puso bilang mag-asawa. At may iba naman, na pilit pa ring naghahangad ng pagmamahal na hindi nasusuklian magbilang man ng ilan pang taon.

Masayang umibig. Ngunit, higit na masaya ang makita, na kahit saang lugar man ako mapunta, pag-ibig ang tanging wika na nagbibigkis sa ating lahat.

Dr. Quack Quack

I woke up early this morning with an aching stomach.

When I was young, my grandmother gives a magic touch whenever we feel ill. She's chanting while rubs my aching stomach with manzanilla. You remember that ointment our parents put on our stomachs when we were still babies whenever we have kabag? Until we've grown up, we still seek grandmother's magic touch to take away that stomach ache. She finishes off with the ritual by gesturing, like putting all the ache in her hands and throwing it away to the nearest open window or door.

It seems unbelievable, but it is really unexplainable how she takes away all the pain.

"Gagaling. Lalakas. Titibay." This is the chant I have acquired from my grandmother. Whenever J feels an aching stomach, I take out that manzanilla we bought from the filipino store and applies it to her stomach, motioning a cross on it. Then finally finishes off the ritual with throwing all the pain to the nearest open window.

She laughed at me the first time I did this to her. But actually amazed how magical the ritual was, and the stomach ache went away easily.

Now that I am the one who needs a magic touch, I asked her if she could do the ritual for me. She started smirking, but trying to get serious. Then she said, "Gagaling, Hihilab..." I said noooo!

Hihilab means, I explained to her is, will still hurt. She apologized. What she meant was, hihilom. But I said, still wrong usage.

She repeated the ritual and finally got it right. I am still curled up in bed, but hoping that her magic touch would soon take effect.

Temporarily Shut Down

I was amazed seeing a walkalator at the Domestic Terminal in Manila. However, it is not working and has a signage that says "Temporarily Shut Down." I was informed that it has been shut down for almost two years now.

Oh well, Manila inconsistencies, I so abhor and love at the same time.

Captivating Camiguin

What is three days compared to a year apart from each other?

I was telling this while tears relentlessly gush from my face. After all that has been done, paid, and scheduled, youngest sister had to tell me day before that she can't miss school and has to efface herself from the Camiguin trip. She remained silent while I incessantly blab about how we have dreamt so much about this, how so much effort has been exhausted to actually make it to reality -- the Tres Marias bonding experience.

Tears after all, was worth it. The three of us made it to "the island of your imagination." It was a long journey to paradise. We took a plane ride to Cagayan de Oro. From CDO, we took a private car to Misamis Oriental. After two hours of land travel, we took a ferry which brought us to Camiguin. Then we took a multi-cab (a jeepney-like vehicle) to Paras Beach Resort.

Finally, after enduring the long hours of travel, we made it. We were warmly welcomed by a drink and a necklace. What amazes me though is how fluent they speak in English. Staff are friendly enough that I said to myself it's going to be a good holiday for me and my sisters.

We visited to places that are all new to us. We ate good food, and got drunk. We made a fool of ourselves like there's no one watching us. We made Camiguin even more captivating because we filled it with beautiful memories.

Our relationship may not be far from other sibling relationships. We had tough times growing up together too. We had to share toys and bikes because parents could not afford to give each one of us. My clothes have to be matching with younger sister's clothes too. When youngest sister was born, I and younger sister took pride in taking care of her, at nine years old, and eight years old respectively.

Now that we've grown older, no one can recognize the age gap anymore. And what is more delightful is that we've matured gracefully and beautifully (literally and figuratively) over the years, whether together or apart.

Camiguin is truly captivating. The pristine white beach is as pure as my love to my biological sisters. We all brought home a memory and rekindled a love that can never be replaced, no matter how different the roads we all take.

Prelude to an Amazing Experience

As Dolly Parton puts it, "If you want a rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." But my sister repudiates. This saying has been used over and over, and she finds it too cliché-ic. She quoted from Katy Pery's Firework, "You don't have to feel like a waste of space, You're original, cannot be replaced, If you only knew what the future holds, After a hurricane comes a rainbow."

No matter what they say about rainbows, the sight brings wonderment to people of all ages.

Dad sent the tres marias to the airport to our first-ever out-of-town bonding experience. We saw a big rainbow, and we just know, it's going to be a memorable trip.

Home, Finally

Manila touchdown at the break of dawn. Been waiting long for my sister to pick me up at the airport. I didn't mind much because I never really got bored during the wait. I was fascinated with people at the airport, of people coming and going.

Finally, I saw the car stopped in front of me. Sister came out of the car to load my luggage. Instead of hugging and going through all those emo stuff, we talked and ranted like there was no location or time gap. It seemed like nothing has changed from the time we last saw each other.

While on our way home, I was welcomed by naggigitgitang jeepneys, buses and vehicles on the highway. To while away the fear, sister put the music in full volume, and we both sang as if it was the best road trip ever.

I so missed this inconsistent and ugly, yet enchanting city. I missed Manila.

Finally, I am home.

First Manila sunrise in 2011